Your battery needs to be replaced !!

A couple of weeks ago, my laptop battery suddenly went down & just works for a couple of mins then the battery is empty.. later on whenever I open my laptop (working on the AC), a warning pop up in my face saying..

"Your battery needs to be replaced !!"

Actually, for me this is more than just a warning cause I felt the warning is not about the laptop only.. I felt that MY battery also need to be replaced !!
Of course human being doesn't need batteries to work.. ha !! .. but sometimes there are things that gives us motives to go on & encourage us to keep on moving.. Those tiny little things are sometimes like batteries for us.. losing those "things" make us moving slowly, with no enthusiasm, depressed.. etc..
Currently -after about 4 years in college- , I feel I'm tired from the college's endless cycle.. I'm tired of studying.. I'm tired of reading.. I'm even tired of writing in this blog !! ..
I dunno why.. but I'm just like my laptop's battery.. suddenly, bad performance !!

I think wt the one really needs is sitting down with his own self 'recharging' his batteries.. but I think sometimes recharging isn't much helpful -like my state now-.. so here comes again the importance of the warning "your battery needs to be replaced !!"

It is good to remember the importance of replacing my battery each time I open that laptop.. & I think I should be replacing it soon.. in shaa allah..

Anyway, just fuzzy thoughts as usual...

Don't ask why..

Sometimes we are faced by not very good experiences in our lives.. sometimes we fail in somethings, sometimes we are hurt by others, sometimes we are put in embarrassing situations.. sometimes... sometimes..
& usually following those situations, we ask ourselves 'why that happened?'.. & many times we don't find clear answers... sure we tell ourselves 'Thank god', but many people just say that by only their tongues..

I just want to narrate a story that happened to me one day.. its not a big one, but it has a meaning to deliver..
One day while I was closing my car, I broke one of my car doors' lock from inside, that was followed by "oh no.. anyway, Thank god".. I was a bit upset cause I have to go somewhere to mend it & I didn't have much time..
Anyway, following that situation by a couple of days.. I had to go somewhere far so I parked my car in a place & took a bus.. anyway, I parked it at 8 am & went back at 9 pm.. when I was back there, I found that someone tried to steal my car.. he broke the small part of the back window in order to open it, but he couldn't break through because simply the door lock was broken at that side so he couldn't open it !!!!
without me breaking my car locks, the car would have been stolen.. At then the bit of annoyance I had when I broke the car lock days ago was turned to extreme gratefulness to Allah..

so, wt I want to say that sometimes we don't see why are those small things/situations happening, while if we saw the whole picture, we will truly understand the meaning of 'why'.. Most of the times we don't even see the 'whole picture', but then we should understand & believe that there are always reasons for every little thing happening and that Allah always brings the best for us..
so don't frown at other faces, they have nth to do with things happened or happening, even if they were a part of it.. Allah wants that to happen, There's a wisdom for that to happen..

Sometimes we pass through hard & bitter experiences just to make us strong enough.. imagine you are moving from first floor to the third floor.. you should pass by the second floor.. maybe that can be hard experience.. maybe you are faced by things you don't like.. but you'll never be in the third without passing by the second.. I mean that sometimes things happen to us just to make us ready for the next steps..

Anyway, Try to find sth positive in everything that happens to u even if u don't see it (I'm sure there is) & believe deeply that this is the best.. I appreciate that this is very hard sometimes.. but at least give it a try & don't ask why...

Fuzzy Thoughts(2)

72 posts till now & only 20 published...
I'm writing this post & not knowing what I am intending to write or why.. I even dunno if it is going to join the 52 drafts written before or not.. maybe... I dunno..

well, This is my final year at FCIS (in shaa Allah).. I have a huge mixture of feelings.. I feel I don't wanna leave college.. not because I love FCIS as much as I love the people in FCIS..
I love my dof3a.. I love my colleagues.. 7ata el mo3edeen wel doctors.. I appreciate many of them much & can't imagine the absence of some characters of them from my life..

"That's Life" as many people say.. but I don't accept that fact this time.. I can't imagine that by the end of this year I will close a whole chapter of my life & write on it "archive"..
It is true that this is not the first closed chapter, yet its the most affecting chapter in my whole life & it is difficult to see it being closed that easy... I still feel I just joined FCIS yesterday..

Although this is the final year, yet I don't feel I am effective in others life as I always hoped.. I always dreamed about leaving a footprint in FCIS ,but here we are in the final year & I still feel I didn't do much...

well, I just poured out some of the fuzzy thoughts going inside my mind.. All I can say that I will miss those days, I will even miss staying up till night going tasks & studying online with my friends.. I will miss everything.. so just let us enjoy it before time comes & everyone begins another new chapter in his life with none of us in it..

I still feel there's sth inside me that I can't express, but let that be in another post..
Thanks for listening/reading..

Fuzzy Thoughts(1)

I just felt I wanna write sth, but I dunno really what I want to say... neither do I know how to express..
Sometimes, we have fuzzy thoughts.. translating those thoughts to words is almost impossible.. you keep feeling something inside yet you can never pour it out..
Wish I can.. Wish I will...

Do3a2...

اللهم انى استغفرك مما تبت اليك منه ثم عدت فيه واستغفرك مما جعلته لك على نفسى ثم لم أوف به لك واستغفرك مما أنعمت به على فاستعنت به على معصيتك واستغفرك مما زعمت اني قصدت به وجهك فخالط قلبى فيه ما قد علمت

More than just a memory...

I can hear some voices around.. people talking.. I hardly recognize those voices although I am sitting in the middle of those people.. cause I am not staying in their world, I'm staying in my own world.. I am so much deep in thoughts.. Thinking.. THINKING.. T H I N K I N G...

I dunno, suddenly I remembered a situation that happened to me @ school in first preparatory I think.. ohh.. I almost forgot about that situation before...I dunno why I suddenly remembered that situation.. maybe feelings matching..
I remember that day when I was in my class sitting there during my French session.. waiting for the teacher to announce the best organized & neat copybooks.. I had a feeling inside that I will be among those ones cause simply I stayed all night organizing my copybook & completing the things I missed when I was sick the past week.. I had it so much colorful & organized...
The teacher started talking.. she said that she was glad from all the copybooks & that all of them were very good, except for 4 copybooks that were so bad, she was speechless about them..
she said that she's gonna say those 4 first before announcing the others.. the teacher started looking at the copybooks.. & here was the shock..."Roaa Mohammed, Stand up"
I really can't forget that moment.. I was SHOCKED with all the word means.. ME!!?? .. my heart was faaast beating.. my hands were shaking.. I don't remember the words the teacher altered, all I remember that she was shouting much & me can't even breathe from my shock.. I was wondering whyyyyyyy!!?.. wtever I did, I DON'T DESERVE this.. the reaction I got was so unexpected.. I felt nth but sitting down with the copybook thrown in my face...
I was so much hurt badly that I burst into tears... "I stayed allll night working on it, how could this be!"

After the 1-year long session ended, I decided to examine my copybook & check what was that so bad that I did.. & here is wt I found.. I was sick for a whole week & I copied the missing parts from a printed paper that my friend gave me, but my friend made some mistakes in printing so I had some parts missing.. that was wt made the teacher angry !!

I explained that to the teacher, she removed the mark from my copybook but the mark she made in my heart was still the same....
At that time, I thought I will never forgive that teacher, but I can tell u that by secondary I did forgive her..

It really hurts badly when you receive the opposite of what you deserve..

Finally, I'm sorry if I ever did that to anyone by mistake, I never do mean it to hurt anybody.. & also I'll try hard to forgive those who did the same to me.. maybe now I don't, but I am sure I will do that one day just like my teacher...

This post was written on a paper in my compiler section.. & those voices were simply the T.A & my colleagues voices..

My Pen..

I know I am not a good poet, but this is my way to try to express my feelings & thoughts.. I know I am not good in expressing that in human language.. so today I sat down trying to express, but unfortunately I came out with those useless words...

I hold my pen to write some words
I don't know what my pen is heading towards
so I leave it to write with no constraints
but in the middle, my writing faints
cause my pen is unable to describe
& words are so difficult to even type
my pen stops & pauses for a little while
& thoughts flow in my head over like a pile
my hands become so weak that I let my pen go
& let my dripping tears, instead, flow
I try to grasp my pen all over again
trying to endure that feeling of pain
After an hour or two, my pen decides to start
to try to write some words, few lines apart
but again & again, my pen is paralyzed
cause some feelings are so hard to be realized
My pen loses hope to be able to express
& the more I feel now of pain & stress
so my pen returns again to my little case
Leaving me & my thoughts in an indescribable maze.