Losing hope..

As I'm officially a graduate now, I had a flash back for my first days at college.. everything passed so quickly.. a lot has changed maybe & that's wt I wanted to dig for inside myself & figure it out..

I remember my first days at college, I was full of enthusiasm and hope.. I had that passion and energy to try to make a change in the community around.. I had hope that everything will go fine and with the help of all good people around, we will be better in shaa Allah.. I imagined that everything should go so smooth and fine.. I also saw people full of enthusiasm, & that gave me more energy to have more hope.. I remember my first summer vacation (when I was in first year), I spent it all in 'ACM training' with Dr Abdalla Gamal & in the 'Hacking tool box' sessions by Dr.Ahmed Safwat.. I saw hope in those people's eyes.. they had the passion to make a change.. & yeah.. those people used to make me feel there's hope..

.. But.. what truly happened inside me in those 4 years? .. mm.. I won't say I'm depressed, cause it is not that bad.. yet.. there's sth that changed inside me.. that 'hope' isn't there any more.. I felt like... mm.. I dunno..
One faced situations that made him see how much some people are so evil.. they are not only concerned by acting badly, they also prevent you from acting well.. In those 4 years I saw the people who used to give me hope, losing hope.. maybe they didn't, but that's the attitude I got.. and if they did feel so, they are right.. all circumstances here should make you feel so..

Small it is (our college community) in compared to our BIG community (Egypt), but I didn't feel much differences.. It is only a small clone.. Everything around you should lead you to great depression.. sometimes small things happen that awakens the hope inside you.. yet, most of the time you will just feel that you wanna let it all go !!

maybe I'm mistaken.. but that's how I felt the change in my attitude towards life in general after 4 years in FCIS.. I still have hope we can change, yet I'm now aware that we are not living in Utopia after all and I think the light of hope I see is not as sharp as I previously saw it 4 years ago...